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Graham's Story Living with Alopecia Areata

Graham's Story Living with Alopecia Areata

“Holy Sh@%!” Those were the words my father said to me at the age of 14 after watching me pull a handful of hair off my head. Not exactly the reassuring response that I was hoping for, but looking back at it now, it perfectly described how I was feeling at that moment.

Just a month earlier, I had gone to Supercuts to get a haircut. I had long curly brown hair— the kind that was bushy and required a lot of brushing on Sundays to look halfway presentable at church. During that haircut, my barber noticed three quarter-sized bald spots on my scalp. My first thought was that I must be allergic to my Head and Shoulders shampoo, or that I was wearing my X-Box headset too tight. Even after switching shampoos and wearing a beanie while I played video games, I was still losing hair. That’s when we started to think this might be more than an allergic reaction. That suspicion was confirmed at the dermatologist a few days later with a formal diagnosis of alopecia areata that would progress to alopecia totalis.

Looking back on that time is weird for me. I was in the 10th grade, and I was already using Rogaine, getting steroid shots in my scalp, and taking prednisone to try to get my immune system to lay off attacking my hair. While some people have remarkable success with those treatments, I did not. The reality was I was 14 years old learning the Pythagorean theorem, but I was also going bald. That left me with two choices— I could continue wearing hats and trying to comb the portion of hair I had left to cover my many bald spots, or I could take the plunge and just cut it all off. I choose the latter of the two options.

I remember having my older sister drive me back to the same Supercuts where the first bald spots were found. I remember I sat in the same chair and told the hairdresser that I was taking it all off. I remember her telling me that it was nice that my girlfriend came with me. I remember not even wanting to correct her to tell her that she was actually my sister who had to bring me because I was going bald before I could even drive. Finally, I remember looking at my pale bald head in the mirror and just cracking up at how funny I looked.

Going bald at a young age can be a scary thing, and it was, but it was also hilarious. At school, we cracked jokes about me being 14 going on 40, and how I would be setting new records on the track team courtesy of my new aerodynamics. I was given many nicknames ranging from Caillou, to the Bald Eagle, to Mr. Clean. At first glance, this all might seem like I was being picked on, but the reality was exactly the opposite.

Being diagnosed with alopecia is different for everyone. For some, it’s a traumatic experience, and for others it’s just something to get used to. Each reaction is as valid as the other, and everyone learns in time how to best handle their new reality. For me, I approached it from a point of humor. A lot of people aren’t sure how to navigate a young, hairless man, which I completely understand. Best case scenario— I lost a bet, most likely scenario— I have bad male pattern baldness, worst case scenario— I’m undergoing chemotherapy. That’s a hard thing to read on a first impression, and so a lot of people are uneasy when trying to figure it out. For me, calling attention to it in an easy-going and humorous way tends to disarm most people and make others, and myself, more comfortable.

The reality for most of us with alopecia areata is we’re always going to be different. But when you put it into perspective, we’re blessed. Alopecia isn’t a life-threatening disease; it’s not going to cause physical discomfort (apart from the occasional sunburn). We have our health, and we have something that makes us unique. Whether I like it or not, I’m a memorable person just by virtue of lacking any hair on my body. People remember me in social and business settings. I have a built-in icebreaker to talk about, plus nods of approval from other bald people. There are so many ways that alopecia totalis has changed my life, and every one of them has made me a better and stronger person.

So, if you’ve been diagnosed with alopecia areata and you feel like you’ve been dealt a bad hand by your immune system, just know that while you might be saying “Holy Sh@%!” today, that’s not what you have to say tomorrow. And, while your days of growing hair might be over, you’re not done growing, and alopecia has a way of helping you grow stronger.

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